This summer has brought about a particularly reflective state in myself. The warm air, bird chirping, long days, and golden colors leave my heart full with appreciation. It seems equally like yesterday and lifetimes ago I was in high school struggling to find out who I was. My confidence was low, I strived to please everyone (an impossible task), and dressed in little boy's clothing. Let's face it, I was a mess - but I'm sure you all can relate right?
This painting came to me in a flurrying mass of lines and emotions. My pieces rarely if ever end up as I originally plan them. A family of pandas was the intent of my composition but as soon as I drew one panda I knew I didn't want more. He sat looking back at me with such loneliness that it struck a chord in my heart. He was so unsure of himself just as I once was. His black and white colors stood stark against the bright background.
I had to laugh as I watched the canvas turn hot pink before my eyes. Pink was a color I once wanted nothing to do with because I considered it too "girly." It went hand in hand with my boyish clothes. I was rebelling against my changing body and tried everything to slow down becoming a woman. But lately I've been embracing the feminine part of myself, after all it's who I was made to be. I've grown to like the curves I have and I'm reminding myself to not get stuck in this current form of mine either. It will change again. As I age I can only hope to treasure the metamorphosis my mind, body, and soul will take.
My original painting measures 4' x 2' and is available for purchase on my Etsy