Like water droplets running into each other, the lines form a pattern of interwoven mazes. It's easier for the droplets to travel down a paved path, but every once in a while they muster up enough strength to take a new direction. I image it is just as scary for them as it is for us. Venture into the unknown. Zoom out - you are forming a beautiful woven pattern.
Ive been trying something new in my paintings, but perhaps more true to myself. What I had been trying to create was what I like to look at — realism with a twist of oddity, well defined pieces, pop-surrealism, human forms, magical creatures, structure - but I'm going to be honest... creating such pieces was painfully trying and difficult for me. It was a daily struggle. Proportions were difficult, I was never going to be as good at it as the works I admired. What I like to "look at" does not come naturally for me to make. Yet, I like to create. Why did I assume they had to be an exact reflection of each other?
This month, as an exercise, I have been making quick, little, conceptual art pieces. It has been a healthy practice, and a lot of fun. I see the world in a more "abstract" form so it feels more natural for me to create this way. Take a walk for example. I notice textures, lighting, the way branches form triangles in the negative space. I notice juxtaposition of soft fog against hard man-made buildings. I'll stop and look at the chipping paint from an old house and think, "how beautiful." I'll notice the out of place green shingle on an otherwise dark gray roof. I'm realizing a lot of things do come naturally to me, not just the things I thought I wanted. I'm good with balance, colors, conveying a feeling through a brush stroke. I'm not so good at proportions or making things look like what they are supposed to look like. Gosh, it's so hard for me to draw "realistically," so why am I trying so hard to be good at it? It feels freeing to even come to that realization. It's time to start nurturing the parts of myself that do express themselves naturally.
Fear is a nasty demon. I was so afraid that people would think I draw like a five year old, that what I am making now isn't real art, or as good as realistic art... but why should that even matter? Why should I have to prove myself? One isn't better than the other.
I've been experimenting on all sorts of paper — the cheap paper that I had on hand in the back of my closet, the thick nice Stonehenge paper from the art store downtown, and even dying paper with a bag of frozen cherries and old avocado skins from the week. Who knew green avocado skin made a brilliant pink color?
I've decided to sell my little mini-series of experimental painting/chalk drawings. It is with love and more self-confidence that I am sending them out into the world to offer whatever they have to offer — hopefully more than they can in a stack thrown on the floor of my room. Hop on over to my Etsy site if you would like to purchase one. They range between the prices of $4 and $6 depending on the paper they are created on. I'll warn you they are a little messy as I did not want to alter their state with a sealant, and most of them contain chalk, but they look lovely protected in a nice frame, and it's a wonder what a frame can do to make a quick concept-drawing look like a polished piece. Each print measures 8 x 10 inches and is signed and dated by me.